butter my biscuits and call me susan

Urh…I just had the most horrible night of sleep. I had two equally horrible nightmares.

In one I was dreaming about what would happen if Ma-Mutt’s toys came to life, like in Toy Story. But in my dream they were awful and mean, and evil. They would run around the house and do pranks on us and were definitely not as cute and awesome as the Toy Story crew. That’s what I get I guess for buying German Playmobil toys…

In the other, I made a dozen big, round, delicious biscuits, golden brown with butter dripping all over them…this was a nightmare because if you’ve read my previous post titled meat, cheese, veggies, repeat – you’ll know I’m on the Atkins diet, and buttery biscuits are definitely not on my diet plan. I guess that Tara was right when she posted that comment about dreaming of flour. God, it was a good dream though. I would eat flour straight out of the bag right about now….

…And I just took a break from writing to make Ma-Mutt French toast with confectioner’s sugar sprinkled on it for breakfast. I think I’m over-compensating by feeding my family straight carbs and starches for the last 4 weeks.

On the plus side I also had a dream I was fighting along side with Angelia Jolie in some upcoming movie. That was fun. Dreams are fun. I just wish I could control them ala Inception. Best. Movie. Ever.

 

perpetual unhappiness

due to my ever increasing perpetual unhappiness with wordpress.com i will be switching to a self-hosted website with wordpress.org and godaddy.com.

this page will redirect there eventually.

in the meantime…does anyone want to design a custom wordpress theme for me for free?

….anyone? don’t all stand up at once!

matters of the brain

Testing…testing…1..2..3…is this thing on?

OK so first order of business:

Sinus infections aren’t fun. I’ve only had 2 in my life, and they feel close to being at the threshold of hell.

I woke up this morning and my eyeballs felt like they were going to shoot out of my head and a steady stream of brain matter and blood would fly out behind them. Fortunately for me, I’m on drugs now so hopefully in the next 14 days I’ll start to feel better.

Gotta love modern medicine!

I love when you go to the Doctor and they ask you all those asinine questions.

“Do you suffer from domestic abuse at home?”

“No, but sometimes my husband does.”

I say this with a smile and wink (Sarah Palin-style). The nurse isn’t impressed. Just another example of my ‘acquired taste‘ of humor.

Whatever, I thought it was funny.

The best part was after she went through my list of medication – and I told the nurse I was taking 200 mg of Zoloft. That is the max dosage, btw.

“OK. Any problems with depression?”

I am silent, and there is a long pause. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to be funny and missed the mark, or if she was serious. Either way, it was totally a MORONIC thing to say to someone taking massive amounts of anti-depressant SSRI’s and I wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Are you kidding or being serious?”

“Oh…RIGHT! Sorry…yes, you’re taking Zoloft for the depression then?”

No, stupid – I’m taking it for epilepsy.

“Um…yeah?…” Here, I am still not sure if she was continuing an elaborate joke or being for real.

Finally the Dr. comes in and she must not be more than 5 years older than me. She asks me if I’ve ever had tubes in my ears. I asked her if that was some weird new obscure sexual position. She laughs. Finally, an audience.

I leave with a Rx and a blinding migraine.

…and that was only 1/4 of my day today.

meat, cheese, veggies – repeat

I know no one cares that much about my battle with weight loss – blah, blah, blah…but I keep staring at this GD category – WEIGHT LOSS I created when I started this blog, and feel obliged to write something meaningful that I can post under it, because I can’t bear to delete it.

I started Atkins 2 weeks ago tomorrow. Big whoop. I mostly did it because, well, I’m giving Gilbert Grape’s mom a run for her money, and the girls at my work are doing it also. It’s a pretty good diet – but I’m really starting to get sick of it quick.

It’s based on you eating no real carbs, and a lot of protein and dairy. Basically just meat, cheese, veggies – repeat. So far I’ve lost a total of 7lbs but you wouldn’t really notice it. I think I feel it more than I can see it. This proves to be good and bad. Bad because I can’t get that support from outsiders “HEY! You look great!” – but good because I can tell it’s working and I’m slimming down.

I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. That was a big milestone. Granted, they were REALLY tight and I could barely button them…but whatever, they fit and if it was an emergency situation I could wear them.

I’ve also been (poorly) following the Jillian Michaels program. I was religiously doing her 30 day shred video up until about a week ago, and haven’t had the desire to start it again. I really need to though…It’s a great DVD. I’m just lazy, and busy writing my blog to do squats (yawn).

So anyway, hopefully no one will read this and get inspiration or anything – because I don’t really think I’m inspirational in the fitness department, and if you are inspired by my weight loss plan you have bigger problems than weight loss, girlie.

I won’t even begin to tell you how badly I just want a sandwhich with BREAD, or some buttered noodles, pasta, anything that is starch-y. URH….But I am sticking to it. Induction, as they call it – lasts 2 weeks or until you lose a desired amount of weight. I guess I’ll be on this phase for about the next 30 years.

I said to my co-worker last week: “I lost 5lbs total! I only have 70 more to go!”

“Did you set some really unrealistic goal for yourself?”

“Yeah, so….I want to weigh 100lbs.”

“Well it doesn’t work like that. You need to set achievable goals“.

“Ok. My goal is to lose 5lbs this week. Woohoo – I did it! Next week, 70!”

“(sigh)”

Gosh, I feel like all my conversations end with the other person giving a big sigh.